On Self Awareness and Self Destruction

Image from Google

Isn’t the human mind a real mystery?

One day I feel low and self-doubting and the very next I am self-aware and self-loving. How is it possible that my brain knows what needs to be done to live a more fulfilling life but it is the same brain that prevents me from doing anything productive?

It is also worth noting how there is a stark difference in the way my brain manages my work and my personal commitments.


  • Knows and understands the gravity of deadlines
  • Prepares to-do lists and follows them with religious severity
  • Prioritizes work over health and mental well-being

Personal-life brain:

  • Makes to-do lists (in the head) that are forgotten
  • Understands the value of relationships, still chooses to ignore it
  • Worries about work and continues ignoring health

Why is this so? Why the discrimination in treatment of matters?

At times, I feel like approaching a psychologist to help me understand my mind. Why do I do the things I do? Why do I have a self-destructive edge towards my personal life?

When I say self-destructive I don’t mean physical harm. I mean – knowingly taking bad decisions, on multiple occasions. Knowing the right path and still somehow looking the other way.

And shouldn’t self-awareness help in reducing/improving self-destructive behavior? Isn’t self-awareness a method of introspection? A way to realign one’s behavior with one’s internal standards and values?

Is laziness the root cause? Or does it go deeper?

I need answers, but know not where to look.


How Do You Deal With Sorrow?

What do you do when you experience deep sorrow? One where your heart hurts and you can’t properly breath?

The sorrow that washes over you when you come across an article talking about the police in a certain city that strip women and rub chilli powder on their private parts. The sorrow that you feel when you see all the injustices done to mankind, nature and animals. The sorrow of seeing a long-term friendship disintegrate right in front of your eyes.

What are you supposed to do in such situations? How are you supposed to deal with this heart wrenching sorrow? How are you supposed to stop the tears that flow and drench your pillow at night?

How? How? How?

How Do You Deal With Sorrow

I apologise for writing this sorrow-filled post barely 8 days into the new year. But it’s 00:30 and I can’t sleep although I’m exhausted. All these negative things that I read in papers and on the internet and all the negativity I see with my own eyes, it just gets a little too much to bear. Writing it all down helps.

How do you’ll deal with sorrow? Are we just supposed to ignore all of this and just move on? How do you reignite the torch of hope?

Let me know in the comments below how you deal with all of this.

Until next time, xo

(Image from Pinterest)