Dear Hope

Dear hop

I forget your touch, It’s just been that long.

But some part of you still lingers in my memory.
A part that is trying hard to resurface, but the elements won’t let it.

I am starting to recollect what you felt like…
Like my mother’s touch
Like my lovers kiss
Like the petrichor after the first rain.

You’re a tough one, you. As stubborn as a mule.

Is my mind playing games on me? Or have you always felt like…
A constant coolness to my soul
A startling epiphany, and the sudden calm that follows
A tingling that won’t go unless I acknowledge your presence?

If you always felt this good, why don’t you stay?
Why do you have to run away?

I wonder sometimes, dear hope, are you even real?

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The Year That Was | April 2016 to March 2017

 

Hello.

I don’t know what happened, but thanks to the heavens above I actually felt like writing today. I have been trying to get myself to write ever since April last year, but never succeeded. In fact life has tried to manifest this concept in my life so much over the last one year – “Everything will happen in its time.” You cannot budge the hands of time to work according to your convenience.

So much has happened in my life since last year. Let’s begin where I last left –

April 2016:

I was busy preparing for my MBA final year exams and in the meanwhile also applying for jobs. I get an interview call.

May 2016:

May begins with the good news that I have successfully cleared the interview and will be expected to join as soon as exams are done.

June and July 2016:

Getting used to being an adult who has a full time job. Also coming in terms with the fact that I have to wake up in the morning.

31st July, 2016:

It’s J. K. Rowling’s birthday. But this day has a very different significance in my life (yes, I remember dates, bite me). This was the day I told my parents about the boy.

August, September, October 2016:

Wedding date gets fixed. House renovation + wedding prep begins. Mayhem. It’s a miracle I didn’t go mad.

November 2016:

We get engaged. It dawns on me that I have just one month in my own house. Emotional roller coaster begins.

December 2016:

We get married. I move into his place. I get home-sick, a lot.

January 2017:

Still home-sick. Join back work. My granny passed away, complete devastation. Even more home-sick.

February 2017:

Slowly beginning to adjust to the new environment. Miss home. Miss granny.

March 2017:

Bangalore trip. Miss home. Miss granny. Even more emotional turmoil. I have recoiled into my shell. Coming to terms that this is life now. Rough patch at work.

 

And now here I am, on this second day of April, 2017 and these are things I have realized:-

  • Life is sometimes your best friend and also your strictest teacher.
  • Learn to appreciate what you have in life, you never know when circumstances will change.
  • Spend time with your loved ones, you don’t want to have regrets after they’ve gone.
  • Being an adult is hard work.
  • Writing is difficult, when its not in your own room, on your own computer.
  • You don’t always get what you want, and you have to  learn to make peace with that.
  • But that doesn’t mean you have to stop dreaming.
  • I miss home.
  • I will never stop missing my granny.

 

Yours truly – Living, stumbling and learning.

xo