Isn’t the human mind a real mystery?
One day I feel low and self-doubting and the very next I am self-aware and self-loving. How is it possible that my brain knows what needs to be done to live a more fulfilling life but it is the same brain that prevents me from doing anything productive?
It is also worth noting how there is a stark difference in the way my brain manages my work and my personal commitments.
- Knows and understands the gravity of deadlines
- Prepares to-do lists and follows them with religious severity
- Prioritizes work over health and mental well-being
- Makes to-do lists (in the head) that are forgotten
- Understands the value of relationships, still chooses to ignore it
- Worries about work and continues ignoring health
Why is this so? Why the discrimination in treatment of matters?
At times, I feel like approaching a psychologist to help me understand my mind. Why do I do the things I do? Why do I have a self-destructive edge towards my personal life?
When I say self-destructive I don’t mean physical harm. I mean – knowingly taking bad decisions, on multiple occasions. Knowing the right path and still somehow looking the other way.
And shouldn’t self-awareness help in reducing/improving self-destructive behavior? Isn’t self-awareness a method of introspection? A way to realign one’s behavior with one’s internal standards and values?
Is laziness the root cause? Or does it go deeper?
I need answers, but know not where to look.