Until some time back, I used to think that love is easy. A relationship, when you find the right person, is all cupcakes and roses. Wasn’t that supposed to be the biggest step where most of us go wrong, the finding-the-right-person part? And also isn’t that the most vital component of a good relationship? People spend lifetimes looking for that one person who is their perfect match. The one with whom you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. The one with whom you can let your guards down. The one with whom you can be yourself without the fear of being judged.
Finding this person, for some takes years for others months. There are also those who have had these people in their lives all the time. But it takes them time to realize that what they are looking for is right in front of their eyes.
So you might think that once you have gone through the rigmarole of finding your one true love, everything will be perfect, right? Wrong.
You see, love is never perfect – now I know. Initially I was a little disappointed, but now I realize that the imperfections are what make a relationship real. And by imperfections I don’t mean the ‘physical’ looks of the person that nowadays everyone is obsessed with. This quote I came across puts it beautifully –
“When you get to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty or looks. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body, but not your heart. That’s why when you really connect with a person, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.”
We can derive lessons from every aspect of our lives, if we care to notice. Love too has many lessons and hence today, I want to share with you the lessons love taught me.
Love is Acceptance
It is accepting that the way life is filled with ups and downs, it is the same with love. It is accepting that no matter how strong you believe your love is, there are going to be differences. It is accepting that in spite of those differences, you still love them. It is also accepting your faults without letting your ego interfere. It is accepting that there is no shame in apologizing when you know you’re in the wrong. It is when both your interests lie elsewhere, he loves football and you love books. But you still learn to live with these differences, he asks you about the book you’re reading and you begin to watch football matches.
Love is Patience
It is the Zen like patience required to deal with the annoying habits and mannerisms of your partner. It is the patience that helps you realize that those very quirks make them unique. And that you wouldn’t want them any other way. It is the patience required when your partner needs some time to themselves. Because although you are a team, sometimes you just need some alone time. It is the way he holds you when you cry. Although he absolutely hates it when you cry, he still holds you for he knows that is all you need at that moment. And truly there is no safer place than his arms.
Love is Perseverance
It is the perseverance that keeps you going when all you want to do is quit. It is this perseverance that pushes you to make things better when they go wrong. Because a small fight is not worth jeopardizing what you have with this person. It is the “Good Morning”, the “Good Night”, the “Lunch?”, the “Dinner?” and the “I Miss You” texts that are always there, be it sunshine or rain.
Love is Faith
And above all, love is Faith. It is the faith that no matter how many arguments you have or no matter how many of their habits you find annoying, you know that this is the person who also keeps you sane. It is the faith that, your love for them is not fragile to be shattered by disagreements or arguments. It is the faith that your love is strong. It is the faith that it will strengthen even more with time. It is when for the first time you muster up all your courage and tell them the most embarrassing things about your body, your past, your experiences and he doesn’t judge you! And you are left wondering is this a dream? You just told him your most embarrassing moments and he sits across you smiling, and its not even a sarcastic/cruel smile. It just melts you heart and boosts up your faith that no matter what, this person will always be there for you.
Honestly, love is complicated but it also is the most beautiful gift we have.
And so fellow humans, go spread some love!
Until next time, xo